What If God Had An Answering Machine?

October 1, 1998
by Brad Hutchison

Psalm 91:14-15 – "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
Isaiah 65:24 – "Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear," says the Lord.

Imagine praying and hearing this:

    Thank you for calling the Divine Service Department. Your call is important to us. In order to speed the processing of your enquiry, please select one of the following four options. If you do not have a touch-tone phone, please stay on the line and an angel will be with you momentarily.

    For service in Spanish, press 1.
    For service in French, press 2.
    For service in English, press 3.
    For more options, press 0.

    [You press 3.]

    For requests, press 1.
    For thanksgiving, press 2.
    For complaints press 3.
    For praise reports, press 4.
    For all other inquiries, press 0.

    [You press 1.]

    All of our angels are helping other customers right now. Please do not hang up, as your call is placed in priority sequence, and you will be served faster than if you re-dial.

    [recorded harp music…]

    The Divine Service Department is pleased to announce extended office hours. Effective immediately, we will be open from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. Greenwich Mean Time, Tuesday through Sunday. Please do not hang up, as your call is placed in priority sequence, and you will be served faster than if you re-dial.

    [more recorded harp music…]

    Hello! This is the angel Gabriel. How may I help you?

    I'd like to talk to God, please.

    Just one moment. I'll connect you.

    [Ring… ring… ring…]

    Hello, God's office. How may I help you?

    Yes, I'd like to speak to God, please.

    I'm sorry, God is in a conference just now. I've been instructed not to disturb Him. What's your Access Code Number?

    120-398-498-946

    Our records show that you have called once today already with a request. Please be advised that because this is a complimentary service and resources are limited, each caller is restricted to one request per day. Please call again tomorrow.

    Thanks a lot! Good-BYE!

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call on God in prayer?

Thank God, you can't call Him too often! You only need to speak and God hears you. You never get a busy signal; you never get a recorded announcement. God takes each call and knows each caller personally. All lines are open to heaven 24 hours a day!

Jeremiah 33:3 – This is what the Lord says, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

Prayer: Thank You, God that you hear me whenever I call upon you, and even when the heavens seem silent, You are still there, watching over me in Your infinite love and wisdom. Thank You! In Jesus' name. Amen.

From an idea submitted by:

About the author:

Brad Hutchison
Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada

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