Philippians 4:7 – And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (KJV)
1 Corinthians 14:10 – There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification. (KJV)
It will be seven years in September since it all began. I began to hear voices inside my head, on one side. All medical avenues have been pursued, various tests done, and various conditions ruled out. The doctors now say that they do not know what I have, nor do they have a cure. Also ruled out due to my age (I was 63 at the time) was any form of dementia. I passed all psychological tests with 100% accuracy.
From the early days, I felt that I was under spiritual attack, and today I am more convinced than ever that I have been and continue to be under spiritual attack. I have been taunted, harassed, and bombarded by Satan throughout many long nights, often only getting to sleep when most people are usually arising. The attacks would take the form of Satan telling me what to do, and not always nice things; sometimes being held down by some unseen force, and being literally unable to move. On the advice of a very dear friend, I started calling out "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus", and the force holding me would lift, and I could get up.
My condition is stable, and I have learned many coping skills, the most important of them being calling on Jesus, and reading my Bible. In my mind, to counteract the voices, I would go over and over the words to hymns that I had learned in my Sunday School days. How precious and helpful these memories have been for me. I would also listen to Christian music as I tried to fall asleep.
It is my sincere feeling that, because over the last twenty years I have been trying to draw much closer to God than I had been for a long while, Satan is trying to separate me from God's love. I am determined that I will not let that happen.
Romans 8:38-39 – For I am convinced that … neither angels nor demons … will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NIV)
Exodus 15:2 – The Lord is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him. (NKJV)
My heart aches for the young people who have schizophrenia. It must be most difficult for them to cope. They do not have life's experiences, like I have, to help them, and, most importantly, so many of them do not have a Christian background to draw on in their need. Praise God that we Christians know Who keeps and strengthens us each and every day.
Prayer: Dear Father God, hear our prayers when we cry to You in the long, terror-filled, dark hours of the night. Send special angels to the dear young people who are afflicted with the disease of schizophrenia, that they may realize that they are not alone. Praise be to You, almighty Lord, for the strength and grace You have to shown many of us through our dark hours. You alone, Lord, know the depths we reach at times, and we give thanks to You for Your love, which is cherished so deeply. Amen.