Hopeless

December 28, 2017
by Rosemary Hagedorn

When my husband came home from the hospital after having suffered a stroke during surgery six years ago, he did some very strange things. He thought that I was his sister one day, and another day, he recognized me as his wife. I caught him standing in front of the mirror, shaving the right side of his face with a face cloth, never touching the left side of his face. He would step into the shower without closing the door, not realizing that water was spraying onto the bathroom floor. Between my mother living downstairs and my husband's illness, I was in a desperate situation.

I became the mother, caregiver, and financial advisor, as well as the shopper for food and the payer of bills for both ourselves and my mother, making sure that we had enough propane, got the grass cut, and had the water filters changed every three months.

I felt hopeless. I thought that I could handle things, but outbursts of anger, times of anxiety, and sleep-deprived nights showed me otherwise. I needed help. It was during a moment of complete disarray and tears that God's voice told me to call for help: my pride had to go.

Psalm 18:6 – In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. (NIV)

I called my husband's sister, who drove over a hundred kilometres in order to help out. She brought homemade food and her other sister to look after their brother while I went out with a friend for lunch. Just to get out of the house for a few hours was like a breath of fresh air! When my husband's sisters left, my friend drove up from the city to give me a hand.

My husband has improved a lot since that time, as he now shaves himself on both sides of the face, knows that I am his wife, and closes the door when showering. Although he has vascular dementia, things are much better than they were six years ago. God knew what was going to happen and answered my prayer of hopelessness through the helping hands of family and friends.

Are you at your wit's end at the moment? Are you going through something right now and feeling hopeless? Ask God to help you.

Prayer: Lord God, You know our rising and lying down. Even though we feel all alone, You are right there. May we, in our distress and hopelessness, call out to You, and wait to hear Your voice. Amen.

About the author:

Rosemary Hagedorn <rosyhagedorn@gmail.com>
Penetanguishene, Ontario, Canada

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1 Comment

  • PresbyCan Feedback says:

    Great testimony, Rosemary.


    A timely word for me. Thanks!


    Amen Rosemary. So glad things are going better now!


    Thank you, Rosemary.
    Eye needed that.


    My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. Thanks for all the great devotions you write.


    God bless you, Rosemary. Thanks for sharing your story. I pray that God continues to sustain you all.


    Your Devotion makes us realize how blessed we are. We have never faced your problems but being in our 80’s, we know there will be trials ahead at some point. Thanks you for showing us we will be able to handle them with God’s help. Our prayers are with you.


    Oh Rosemary, what a difficult time that was, but praise God, He provided for your needs. Although my dear hubby retained his mental faculties when he was dying of cancer, just before my brother came to the end of his life, he became mentally ill. During both times, I too experienced God’s provision. I love how God does that for us. Blessings.


    Dear Rosemary – thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your life. I read somewhere that sometimes the answer to prayer is not actually the response to the situation as it is the changes wrought in us by the situation. Like you, I was a very independent woman who never asked for help – I do now! May God give you strength to continue and help you to ask for help when you come to the end of your own energy. God Bless you.


    Dear Rosemary,
    Whatever you write seem to mean more to me. At the he end of the devotional I wrote a note to a dear friend.
    Thank you for sharing your heart.
    Happy New Year and God bless you real good.
    (California)


    Hi Rosy,
    I am glad that things are better for you and your husband now. I can’t imagine what you went through at that time. The psalms verse you quoted is such good advice. When we went through some troubles over the years I also got comfort from Psalm 46 and Psalm 121
    Thank you for writing and a happy New Year from both of us.


    Rosy you are a brave woman to share what you have had to endure. But what a bouquet you give to God in telling how He has brought you through “the fire and the flood”. Great is His faithfulness. You have made it crystal clear that we cannot do it, but He can. Indeed, our part is to cry out to Him and trust Him solve the problems in His way not ours.
    Praise His wonderful Name.


    Dear Rosie
    God bless you my friend.
    Pride is probably the largest thing we will ever have to swallow. It is never easy, but I found with letting go of my pride a great humbleness took its place and also peace.
    May God grant you a wonderful, joyful new year and be ever at your side and always within earshot.


    Hi,
    I can really relate to your message. Our family has gone through quite a lot this year. The kindness, help and prayer support from others has meant a lot to us. This realization encourages us to offer support to others in need.
    A Priest we know sums up the Gospel message very powerfully: Everybody matters and we are all in this together.
    Thanks for sharing.


    Thank you Rosy,
    Somewhat different situation, but that’s how I am feeling at the moment … desperate … I’ve called out to God, and have received temporary peace at times, but then something else happens and I feel like I’m right back where I started, and right now I don’t know if God is simply not answering, or if I’m not hearing him.
    I know God will deal with all this and it will all end up alright, but I’m afraid, I am not Joseph or Abraham, or David … all of whom had to wait years and years. I feel a little like Job, but I don’t have his patience or perseverance.
    All that being said, I am still very, very blessed and grateful for everything I have and all God has done, does and will do in my life. I am a walking miracle and God didn’t promise that our lives here would be a bed of roses. But ONE day … My hope and expectation in the sure knowledge that God does keep His promises.
    And I am also grateful for the help He sent your way when you needed it. I know God will continue to be with you as He will with me! He has everything under control and we need to keep trusting.
    It’s important to remember that we all struggle at times and it isn’t always easy for anyone. I thank you for letting us into your challenges as well as all the devotionals you write.
    THANK YOU and Blessings.


    Dear Rosemary,
    I pray for you — that God will continue to be your Great Help and Upholderer.
    And I pray for the best under the circumstances for your husband. A neighbour has a husband who has some times that are less than ideal. A local home for seniors takes him in for a week now and then, not necessarily for his benefit, but the break from the constant caring for him is helpful for her.
    It is so good that the folks came to your aid when you needed it so much.
    Praying for you and your husband.


    Dear Rosemary, my thoughts are with you, Having gone through a similar situation with my Mom and Dad some years ago – both were in their 90’s, and I went to look after them, My husband was at home in our city. Even with requested help coming to their condo, I felt the strain of not sleeping much. It was God’s Grace that helped me through. God’s Grace is sufficient. Am sending you loving thoughts.

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