Why?

April 16, 2007
by John Stuart

Psalm 25:17 – The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. (NIV)

I can remember, when I was a teenager, falling on my knees in our family kitchen and crying uncontrollably. My mother had just been taken away by the paramedics to the asylum again, after another terrifying outbreak of her schizophrenic disorder. As usual, she had not been taking her medication which, after four or five days, resulted in a frenzied attack on her family. This latest violent outburst was the last straw for me, and I just fell apart in front of my dad and siblings. I cried out to God, time and time again, "Why are You doing this to us? Why are You allowing this to happen?" I was inconsolable and hated my life.

Emotional pain is very hard to carry, especially when you are young and inexperienced as far as suffering goes. It took me years to cope with my mom's mental illness, and there are still some moments when I wonder how all our family survived. To me, it involved the grace of God, Who heard the troubles of my heart and freed me from my anguish. I still carry the emotional scars inside, but with God's great patience and unyielding love, I have managed not only to survive but also to find healing.

It may be the case that some reading this devotional are also experiencing turmoil, trouble, and tribulation that are wounding a soul or breaking a heart. Like the Psalmist of old, let us cry out to God and tell Him how we really feel. We must not be afraid to shout, rage, or weep. He's big enough to take all of the punches we can throw at Him. He's also merciful enough to give us the grace that we desperately need to overcome these issues.

Prayer: Lord God, sometimes our lives are filled with sorrow and overpowered with pain. Some of our experiences can damage our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls. Be near to us when we are lonely and afflicted, agitated and rebellious. Embrace us with Your love and heal us with Your grace. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

About the author:

John Stuart <traqair@aol.com>
Knoxville, Tennessee, USA

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