Mind Games

Near the beginning of June, my husband had surgery on his carotid artery. It was at that time that he suffered a mini-stroke. I knew that there was something wrong because it was a long time before he came out of the recovery room. The surgeon finally found me in the waiting room.

"Mrs. Hagedorn, your husband suffered a mini-stroke during surgery; he is … ." I did not hear the rest of it because my mind shut down after hearing the word "mini-stroke". After the initial shock, I asked the surgeon if my husband was all right. Apparently, he was paralyzed on the left side of his face and arm, but the sensations of movement were slowly coming back.

When he was moved to the "step-down room", almost like an intensive care unit, he was quite confused and did not know where he was. Two weeks later, I brought him home, but he is still confused, although the doctors tell me that this will pass.

Kurt used to be a whiz at completing crossword puzzles, but now, he has trouble connecting the "across" and "down" spaces in correlation with the word. Playing cards or Scrabble® is quite a challenge to him at this time. It is almost like his brain is playing mind games within himself about the outside world. On my part, I have to make sure that he takes the correct pills and monitor his every move. I find myself frustrated, and feelings of hopelessness envelop my whole being.

It is at times like these, when we feel totally helpless or frustrated, or even lose our cool and yell, that God understands us. He has promised that He will never give us something that we cannot handle; He has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. I have experienced His encouragement in several ways. He will send us a friend to help out; He will send a word of encouragement over the Internet from some stranger. We may feel all alone at times, but He is always there.

Deuteronomy 31:8 – And the Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear, or be dismayed. (NASB)

Prayer: Father God, You are with us in our trials and our fears. When we feel discouraged and anxious, grant us Your peace. You know already that we will stumble and fall because of our humanity. Thank You for Your words of encouragement and Your promises that You will never leave us or forsake us. You will be with us even until the end of the age. Amen.

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